What Have I Done
by Skyways
Summary: Humanstuck Her name was Kanaya Maryam, through circumstances that were both her own and not her own she was forced to take her life to atone for the sins she committed. While it is not a story that should be told it will be for posterity sake. This is the second in the Homestuck minific series I was asked to write so enjoy, this one has a shore lemon but well you'll see


Title: What have I done  
Pairing: Rose X Kanaya  
Comic: Homestuck  
Rating: M

please review even if I dislike this fanfiction I want peoples input  
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Her name is Kanaya Maryam and she is in the progress of slitting her wrists. It should be said that she lived a relatively normal and extremely happy life; as such she had no inclinations of ever committing suicide. Today however was different she had gone too far, she had done something utterly horrid and unforgivable, an action to which the only recourse would be to kill herself. Perhaps it was better that way, with so much beautiful crimson red pouring out of her veins on display for the entire world.

Perhaps it would be better to go back to the beginning of this story, before this day had ever occurred and she was happy. Of course that would bring in a one Rose Lalonde and she is the reason that a one Kanaya Maryam decided to end her life. It wasn't what Rose did that caused Kanaya to end her existence, no it was what Kanaya did to Rose that caused the incident in question. Now then returning to what I was saying before, the beginning.

It was a normal day in Skaia, a small town located somewhere in the United States. Kanaya had just woken up around six in the morning or so, a vampire romance novel still open and on her slim stomach. She slowly sat up in bed, yawning rather loudly as the book fell to the ground. She had stayed up well past midnight reading, yet again, she had done this since she turned fifteen and her sister Porrim and her girlfriend Aranea convinced Kanaya to watch True Blood with them. Ever since then Kanaya had been obsessed with vampire romance, a little more than she probably should have been.

Kanaya was still rather young only seventeen, rather she was going to be eighteen in exactly three days, ten hours, and forty two minutes, but hey who was counting. She was beautiful none the less, the kind of beauty that attracted both men and women. She had snow white skin, which remained flawless and unblemished except for a small ring piercing on her bellybutton. Her eyes were a deep jade green, the kind a person could get lost in if they stared for too long. She had a great figure, not too thin, though she thought she could stand to lose a pound or two.

Kanaya slipped out of bed, but shivered in the cold air. She was after all wearing nothing but a pair of black lace panties that had a white Virgo sign on the front. She usually slept in the buff, there was no reason to waste good clothing after all. She brushed a bit of her short hair from her eyes as she began her daily routine. This consisted of waking up, then showering, getting dressed, a bit of breakfast with her elder sibling who by many people standards was gorgeous, she was a model after all, and once all that was over hurry out the door with a messenger bag and black lipstick on. It was a monotonous cycle, but one she had come to enjoy as it gave her life a form of predictability.

Kanaya headed straight for the house of the aforementioned Rose Lalonde, who was probably waiting with some sort of lecture for Kanaya about how being on time was crucial, not that she minded in the slightest. She wore a black shirt that had small white designs here and there, it was one of her own personal creations. She had on a black sweater with a large turtleneck, though she had her necklace that had a Virgo symbol on the back hanging around her neck, through some of the necklace was lost in the turtleneck. She had a long black messenger bag around her shoulders, it was a pure black and had small silver studs on the strap.

She couldn't wait to see rose, her heart felt like it was about to burst inside of her chest. Kanaya and Rose were in love, madly in love. Of course every relationship had its kinks and theirs was no different. There was one thing that set their relationship apart from anyone's by far. Kanaya had a bit of a blood kink, that wasn't to say she loved blood, she could barely stand movies that had any sort of gore, and rather she loved the taste of blood. It was something exquisite to her. Rose on the other hand had gone through a severe depression at the loss of her older sister Roxy to a drunk driving accident. She had long since recovered but was never quite the same, she had become a masochist and had more than a few dirty fantasies the couple played out.

The only problem was that at time they would go to extremes and that was dangerous, extremely dangerous. At times Rose would even cut her arm, letting Kanaya, who liked to think of herself as a vampire to be to sip a bit of the blood and sometimes she would take more than she should. Rose was sitting on her front steps wearing her normal outfit, which she wore almost every day. It consisted of skinny jeans with small rips on the knees and a bright orange hoodie that had a white sun like marking over her chest.

Rose brushed some of her rather short honey blonde hair back showing her dark purple eyes as she gave Kanaya a soft smile. "Well it took you long enough," Rose quipped in a soft whisper as she gave a soft smile to her girlfriend. "Sorry it took a bit longer for me and Porrim to make breakfast this morning," Kanaya responded softly as she flashed Rose a bright smile. "Well I guess I could forgive you, for a kiss." Rose mused as she sat up, picking up her own messenger bag that at once to Roxy. "I suppose that is more than fair," Kanaya whispered softly as she leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her girlfriends lips. Rose kissed back happily, though she held herself back knowing her mother was probably watching them, she had never fully trusted Kanaya.

"We should hurry," Rose whispered against Kanaya's lips as the taller teen smiled. "We should, or we could be just a little bit late," Kanaya murmured happily, as leaned in, kissing the nape or Rose's neck. "Not right now, just wait until tonight, then we can really have some fun," Rose purred in a breathless gasp of pleasure. "Until tonight then my love," Kanaya spoke softly before giving Rose one last kiss and pulling away quickly. "Come on lets go," Kanaya murmured in disappointment, she really didn't want to wait. Rose gave her a sympathetic smile.

The two headed towards the local high school, where a one Dave Strider was waiting for them. He was sitting on the hood of his cherry red '69 Impala, sipping a Faygo as he looked to the two girls walking over holding hands. Strider wore his normal getup a red T-Shirt with a black disk symbol on it and a pair of rather tight jeans. "You know you two shouldn't do that around here, if Vriska sees you two she's going to lose it." Strider said that dismissively as he couldn't help but give a small grin as he started to chuckle ever so softly. "She can do whatever she wants; I have no intentions of parting with Kanaya at this time or any other." Rose said rather possessively as squeezed Kanaya's hand rather hard not wanting to lose her to someone who was a complete and utter bitch and that was the nicest name she had to call Vriska.

"No need to be so possessive Rose, Vriska wouldn't do anything do me." Kanaya said happily as she kissed Rose's cheek gently. "Right you two, better hurry before the bell rings." Strider chuckled softly as he looked the two of them through his pair of shades as he grinned just a bit. Kanaya blushed softly and pulled away, "See you at lunch love," Kanaya spoke dreamily as she headed into the school. Rose was about to walk inside but Strider grabbed her arm rather hard causing Rose to gasp in a mix of pain and pleasure. He had grabbed some freshly bandaged cuts from one of Kanaya's 'sessions'.

"Rose you've been cutting again haven't you." Dave demanded in a quiet voice, he wasn't going to call any attention to them, especially since kids were just starting to show up. "Yes but it isn't for the reason you might think," Rose whispered in a low tone as she looked over to Kanaya once more. "It's her isn't it, that chick is cutting you!" Dave kept his voice down to a furious whisper but he was ready to kill Kanaya at this point, he could do it to with the shitty, but effective katana he had attached as a mount in the back of the car.

"No I'm cutting myself, I… I like it and I do it for her, I let her have a taste now and then." Rose admitted in a hushed voice as she pulled her arm away quickly. "Rose you have to stop this, one day you'll go too far and one of you is going to get hurt or worse." Dave warned as he turned away from her as he reached out touching Rose's hand softly. "Thanks Dave but I'm not a little kid, I can manage myself!" Rose shouted as she pulled away from him. She headed into the school, ready to get the day over with.

During the day Kanaya and Rose saw one another here and there and spent their time together during lunch. They sat with a few of their friends as Kanaya tried her best to council Aradia through a break up with her boyfriend of two years Equius Zahak. Of course thing seemed normal at the table but underneath Rose was at work her hand between Kanaya's legs rubbing her almost dripping wet slit through her panties.

Kanaya was able to keep her cool, but she wanted to jump on rose and tear her clothes off right that second. The lunch bell rung signaling it was time for everyone to clean up before the next classes started. Rose pulled her hand from Kanaya's dress and gave a small grin looking to her lover. Kanaya turned a bright crimson blushing furiously as she looked away unable to face Rose knowing what she had done. Rose hurried away not wanting anyone to catch her as she was giggling the whole time. Kanaya on the other hand had already cleared her tray and was hurrying to the class, she wouldn't want to focus on what Rose had done, no she just had to wait for another two hours.

Wait she did, for the longest two hours of her life knowing that Rose had probably had something amazing planned for the two of them. Once the last bell rung Kanaya shot out of school like she was on fire. She zoomed down the halls and right out the front door seeing Rose waiting out on the parking lot. She hurried over, grabbing Rose quickly and holding onto her tightly. Rose gave a surprised gasp but giggled happily feeling Kanaya's slim arms around her underneath Rose's chest. "Kanaya you scared me," Rose murmured happily, leaning back against her lover's chest.

"Tell me Rose, what exactly do you have planned," Kanaya whispered into her lover's ear as Rose couldn't help but grin hearing those words. "You wait and see, now then let's hurry back to my place." Rose spoke softly as she took Kanaya's hand and almost dragged her the full half mile back to her own house. Rose knew her mother would be gone for a day or two, something about meeting with some old friends so they had an entire weekend by themselves. The teen could hardly wait to have some time alone with her vampire obsessed lover. She unlocked her front door and hurried with Kanaya up the stairs and to her room.

Kanaya followed behind her quickly, just barely remembering to shut the door behind her as she entered the lovely Lalonde's room. Rose had managed to set up some bondage equipment for the two of them and a few of her 'toys'. "I know how much you like this sort of thing so," Rose teased as she held out a riding crop, a rather devious grin gracing her lips. "Oh you know me too well Rose," Kanaya replied as she took the crop and quickly whipped Rose right across the chest. The young Lalonde cried out in pleasure as she began to quickly strip. She was wearing nothing under her clothes but a pair of see through panties, ones that she wore only on 'special' occasions with Kanaya.

"You naughty girl you, It's time you get your punishment." Kanaya purred as she grinned going over to Rose's toys and took out a pair of handcuffs. "Mmm I agree mistress," Rose responded happily as climbed into bed, getting onto her hands and knees. Kanaya wasted no time in handcuffing her lover to the bedpost. "Do it please punish me," Rose begged, shaking her ass trying to entice Kanaya, and it was working. "If that's what you want," Kanaya responded as she lashed a rather long cut on her lovers back, one Kanaya was allowed to inflict during one of their 'sessions' when Kanaya's vampiristic side kicked in.

For every second that passed Kanaya got wilder and wilder, inflicting even more injuries on her bound lover. It eventually reached the point where Rose was bleeding all over and Kanaya like the vampire she so desperately wanted to be was licking up the blood. Of course Rose loved every second of it as she cried out inn pleasure. Kanaya was losing herself, she was going too far and neither of them could take it. Eventually too tired to continue on, Kanaya fell on Rose's bed beside her, both of them panting and about to pass out.

Kanaya was awoken by sunlight pouring in through Rose's window the next morning and much like a vampire Kanaya hissed in disgust as she turned to avoid the light burning her eyes. She cuddled into Rose and giggled happily. "That was amazing love," Kanaya whispered happily but there was no response. She sat up in bed nudging Rose but again there was no response. "R-Rose this isn't funny." Kanaya murmured in a panicked voice as she kept trying to no avail. Rose had died due to a loss of blood and it was all Kanaya's fault for not holding back and going wild.

"Oh god Rose," Kanaya whispered to herself as tears streamed down her cheeks. She couldn't hold them back. "What have I done," That was all she could say as she slowly got out of bed. She decided that Rose's mother wouldn't see her beloved daughter like this. She bandaged her now deceased lover and dressed her in the best clothes that she could find in Roses wardrobe. Kanaya decided it was best to leave a note, telling Ms. Lalonde everything that had happened and apologizing even though it wouldn't mean anything. She also wrote that she was pay for what she had done to the woman she loved.

Kanaya dressed and headed home, going right to her room knowing that her sister wouldn't be there. First thing she did was take a large knife from the kitchen, one that was particularly sharp and one she could easily cut herself with. She walked into her bedroom and sat on her bed, begging for the forgiveness of a god she had long though abandoned her. After a few moments she rolled up her sleeve and began to drag the knife across her wrist as deep as she possible could. She began shaking in pain as she held in a deep scream before slowly rolling up her other sleeve. She then did the same thing to her other wrist as she began to pray yet again, not for her own soul but for that of Rose. She lay down in bed and closed her eyes, letting the cold embrace of death take her.


End file.
